First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been sending me messages and posting comments giving me all the support in the world! It’s a great environment to be a part of, and it should always be a positive and supportive one. It’s great to see so much of it.
Also, a lot of people have been calling me an inspiration that helps keep them motivated on their journey. The fact that I could even effect one person to commit to a healthy lifestyle, I can’t tell you how important that is to me and how much I appreciate it. If anything that drives ME more, as I don’t want to let anyone down.
I promised I would be honest with everything I’m thinking and feeling as we go week to week in my training process. So here are some of the things: I have super cravings, I am just dying to eat sweets. I am a lover of all things pastry. I feel like I might need to put myself in a locked room with a powdered eclair and a caramel machiato and have a moment once the competition is over. I always eat healthy meals…but I’m such a snacker. Not even a light snacker, I’m a binge snacker.
My biggest surprise comes in the way of alcohol. I’m not craving that at all. And I was an every weekend kind of drinker. Night cap on most days too.
That’s a HUGE step for me, and I’m sure that is surprised a LOT of people that I could give it up. I have quite the reputation as the life of the party.
It is VERY hard to go out to supper and be social and watch everyone eat. I actually stare really hard at people and my husband has told me to stop because it’s creeping people out. I just watch people eat foods now and it’s kind of weird…Lol So, I have refrained from going some of the places I would like to or staying at a party longer than a quick visit because I honestly fail at the resisting temptation part.
My diet hasn’t been 100%, I really want it to be. Truth be told, I have cheated, I haven’t been perfect. Now mind you, my idea of a cheat isn’t what you would think. It’s not going out and eating a burger, or anything like that. It’s straying any little bit from my meal plan at all, even if that means having a forkful of wild rice off my Mom’s plate of food, or having soup broth when I was sick, or having a tablespoon of salsa on my chicken just because I can’t stomach to get it down. I’m not proud of doing those things, and they are certainly disappearing week to week. My goal for this week is a perfect meal plan.
I also haven’t been practicing my posing. That all changes TODAY. After all, it doesn’t matter what you have to show, it’s how you show it. There is NO point in doing all of this and working SO hard, if all my pieces aren’t in place for that moment on stage. I’m feeling more confident in my body now so I’m making sure to practice DAILY until the competition.
To be quite honest, I did NOT think I would make it this far. Especially having the flu at the 8 week mark when I was just getting in my groove to kill it, I spent a week getting better and not doing my best. It was heart-breaking.
Well I’m back on it and back on it hard. I’m killing my workouts heading into week 7. My husband catches me looking in the mirror (something I used to tease him about) and flexing…oops! I can see the start of my abs, I can really feel them (now that the thick layer of fat is gone). I can see my delts, I’m lifting heavier and I’m just so much stronger. I can do man push-ups (a dream of mine, as I have super long limbs and never thought it was possible), and I flipped a 180lb tire! This is so exciting for me, I’m breaking goals so fast I don’t even know what goals to make.
I have always wanted to wear sexy dresses with low backs, halters, leggings with long sweaters…but those darn love handles, I had never felt comfortable enough in my own body. Now, I am rocking everything I wear. I get emotional just getting ready to go out because I feel pretty and sexy. For someone who has always struggled with having confidence, that’s a huge step for me! I was the “fat girl” in my head for so long, I didn’t see what everyone else saw when my body changed.
A down side though, are the man boobs. I had a breast reduction February 2012 and I was SUPER happy with it. I went from a 38DD to a 36C and now I’m flat as a pancake. I flex and they are pretty manly pecs, I know they will come back after the comp. but it’s crazy to think I’ve changed this much in such a short time! But that’s also why they invented those crazy push up bras with the inserts LOL. It solves the flat chest in clothing problem, but unfortunately doesn’t do anything for the husband haha!
Other than that, I’m doing great – I have missed a few beats and I’m trying to stay as focused as possible to get better and better and really give it everything. I want to have perfect weeks from here on out.
I feel like an athlete. I’m finally that person who was buried inside dying to get out. It’s an amazing feeling.
Candice Godbout is competing in her first bikini competition in November. She trains with master personal fitness trainer Devin Sherrington at 360fit.