I decided last year I was going to do a triathlon. Crazy, I know, but not impossible. Of course I decided that the end of last year. I did a practice Triathlon, sprint distance with Halifax Triathlon club and near thought I would die.
It was the most exhilarating time I remember feeling for years. I felt alive. I knew this would not be an overnight thing, I knew I have to train and get ready for this.
When the season was over, I would train over the winter and be ready for next season,
Well this is the end of the next season and guess what, I am not ready.
I did accomplish a lot, I rode a century ride, 100kms. I felt awesome. I actually cried that night, harder than I ever did because I was in awe of what I did. I want that feeling again. So why is it the end of the season and I have yet to do an official triathlon.
Nerves – no, fear – no, afraid of failure – no, weight – YES!
I cannot seem to get this weight off and it is holding me back. I am allowing it to hold me back.
I work out like crazy, so why am I not thin? I am fearless when it comes to accomplishing what I want physically. I did mud hero, I do bootcamps at 360fit, I rode 100kms. I did 2000 jump squats in a hour. I am going to do walking lunges for 2k.
Why cannot I could not lose weight?
I asked that question one night at 360fit, talking to Zach and Ben, Ben looked at me straight in my eyes and said “it’s your food.” I had no idea what he was talking about. I ate healthy, not perfect, well maybe not even close to perfect. But who is?
I am diabetic and menopausal… I blamed these things. I even tried not to work out because I thought maybe I can lose weight not doing any exercise, I was miserable. I love working out, I love bike riding. This love/hate relationship I have with food is my problem. It’s my addiction. It’s my nightmare.
There are so many diets out there, my head spins…what do I do, low fat, low carb, high protein, soup diet, Ideal Protein, Weight Watchers, U weight loss. Believe me I have tried them all through the years. Did they work? No! If they had I would not be writing this blog,
So here it is. I told Ben I would eat what he told me for 30 days. No cheats. Ok, had a rough start. 30 days, no cheats. We shook on it and I am going to openly on this blog give Ben Costigan my word. No cheats.
I love excuses and I am a master at it. Just in case I have anyone fooled. Who am I really fooling? Yea I know…only myself. So here it is, starting Friday Aug 23rd. One month, and no cheating. I have my weight, 202.6. I know…I am closing my eyes as I type that.
But I promised Devin Sherrington, owner of 360fit, I would bare my soul. This is going to be an eye opener.
So tonight, I pick up a few things, and I move on. Tomorrow I begin fresh. No cheats and 100% of me to eating clean, following what Ben says and learning in the process.
Edwina Penney, Dartmouth